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  Bus Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-17-2017, 09:39 AM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Bus driver to passenger: Don’t you want to sit down?


Passenger: No, I am in a hurry.

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  Hardware Engineer Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-17-2017, 09:38 AM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

The police stops a computer hardware engineer: “Your light isn’t working. You have to get off your bike.” 


IT guy: “I tried that but the light still isn’t working.”

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  Dracula Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-17-2017, 09:29 AM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Why couldn’t Mrs. Dracula sleep properly?


Because of Dracula’s coffin.

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  SMS Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-17-2017, 09:26 AM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

My SMS autocorrect just changed


"I’m so concerned with existential anxieties it is difficult to breathe" to "I feel great".

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  Backward Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-17-2017, 09:24 AM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Do you want to hear a joke backwards?


Yes…
Very good, start laughing.

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  UAE’s Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan Foundation to launch dam in Somalia
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:46 PM - Forum: Somali Comments - No Replies

[Image: Hargeisa_City_300x225.jpg]The UAE's Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan Foundation will launch a dam in Hargeisa City, Somaliland, in the next two days to continue efforts to curb famine in the Horn of Africa country.

The project was carried out upon directives from President His Highness Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan. It is supported by His Highness Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces, and directly followed by H.H. Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Presidential Affairs, who is also the chairman of the Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan Foundation.

The project complements the 'For Your Sake, Somalia' campaign, launched as part of the UAE's Year of Giving to help Somalia improve the difficult living conditions of people affected by drought.

A team of technicians and specialist are making final preparations for the inauguration during which full details of the dam will be announced, said an official source from the Foundation.

The UAE-funded project will drive agricultural and animal resources development in Hargeisa, and is one of projects carried out in Somalia to support the Somali people as part of fraternal relations.

On Tuesday, the UAE launched a month-long campaign to raise AED500 million to provide food, water, medicine and other necessities to help hundreds of thousands of people in Somalia survive their third famine in 25 years.

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  Waiter Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:29 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

“Waiter, take your thumb off my schnitzel immediately!” 


“Oh yeah? And have it fall down again!?”

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  Dog Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:26 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Does your dog bite?


Nope.


Oh, so how do you feed him?

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  Training Session Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:26 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Just came home from a training session. Two hours on the treadmill did me really good.


If only I could somehow stop the constant beeping and the irritated comments of the cashier.

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  Lawyer Jail Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:22 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: „Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“



And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.

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