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  Wife Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:19 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

My wife is a bit weird.


She always starts her talking with “Michael, are you listening to me?”

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  Insurance Clerk Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:18 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Insurance clerk: "Where were you born, Sir?" 


Man: "In the United States." 

Insurance clerk: "OK, and which part?" 


Man: "My entire body."

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  Girl of his life Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:17 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date, today I asked her to marry me.



She said no, on both occasions.

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  Twin Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:12 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Are you two twins?


No, why do you ask?


Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.


OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please.

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  Chocolate Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:09 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head. 


The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.” 


The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”

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  Ladder Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:02 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

Bob: "Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder."



Jim: "No way man, are you okay?"


Bob: "Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step."

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  Lawyer Jokes
Posted by: ayuub - 04-16-2017, 06:01 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”


Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”


Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”

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  Neighbor Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-15-2017, 01:23 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people.

But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

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  Broken Stuff Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-15-2017, 01:22 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”

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  Love Joke
Posted by: ayuub - 04-15-2017, 01:07 PM - Forum: General Jokes - No Replies

A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"


The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."

The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”

Boy nods, "Exactly!"

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